


Lessons Learned

by rosesandstuff



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Geometry, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Math, TW: Death mention, TW: Panic Attacks, ft. Actor Roman, ft. Nerd Logan, mcdonalds, tw: Cussing/Cursing, tw: Kissing, tw: Non-Con Kissing, tw: anxiety, tw: bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-19 13:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15511164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandstuff/pseuds/rosesandstuff
Summary: Roman is a hopeless romantic but has the worst soulmate tattoo he’s ever known. But when he meets his soulmate he begins to see things in a whole other light.





	1. Lesson Number One

Roman was a sucker for love at heart. He’d binge romcoms almost religiously, write enchanting poetry addressed to a nonexistent lover, and perhaps most embarrassingly, practice kissing with his pillows whenever he couldn’t go to sleep. He couldn’t get enough of everyone’s love stories, except, that is, for his own.

In Roman’s world, everyone had a soulmate and everyone was born with the first thing they would say to them when they first meet them printed across their left forearm. Most people that Roman met had something very intriguing on their arm, or at the very least something nice. Meanwhile, Roman was gifted with eight, terrible tattooed words he was forced to look every time he dared to look down at his bare arm; “You are about as intelligent as an eggplant.”

He had of course memorized the words very early on in his life, but that didn’t stop him from wondering what he could possibly do that would be so stupid to cause his soulmate to say such a thing to him. Roman tried not to be bothered by it most of the time, instead focusing on everyone else’s own soulmate’s words. And whenever asked what were his own, he’d hide them behind his sleeve and laugh, saying it didn’t matter and proceed to ask them more about who they thought their soulmate was. 

Needless to say, the dent the words made on his life remained there. Roman avoided eggplants at all costs, and he kept his guard up with a false ego that took years to perfect while his self-esteem dwindled. He would remind himself his soulmate probably only meant it as a joke or something, but there was always the possibility that they were being serious and they’d continue to hate him despite them being destined partners. Whatever. Once he met his soulmate, the words would disappear as soon as they were exchanged, so even if they did turn out bad, at least he wouldn’t have to read those nasty words ever again.

It was an autumn day when Roman was falling asleep in Geometry class and his best friend, Virgil, slapped his arm in attempt to wake him. Roman woke up with a snort and Virgil rolled his eyes. Virgil was nearly Roman’s polar opposite, but they’d been close ever since they were kids regardless. Virgil had already found his own soulmate, another boy named Patton who was the bright, sunshiny day to Virgil’s dark and stormy night. 

Virgil’s story was a depressing one, really, but Roman was glad it found a happy ending. His friend wore the words “You make me want to die.” most of his life, which reasonably messed him up when he was a kid. Then one day at a café, Virgil bumped into Patton, who immediately said the cursed words on Virgil’s arms. According to Patton, he was supposed to finish the sentence with “of laughter” as if to say Virgil bumping into him was no big deal, but Virgil burst into tears too fast for him to. Later, when everything was explained, Patton apologized, and Virgil realized that his soulmate didn’t hate him after all. 

“Wha-?” Roman groaned, blinking his eyes open as Virgil poked at him again. 

“Get up, dude. Class is over and Mrs. Moore says she wants to talk with you,” Virgil said. Roman nodded slowly and said his goodbyes before gathering his things and walking up to their teacher. 

“Roman,” Mrs. Moore greeted. “I hope you enjoyed your slumber during today’s lesson.” 

Roman laughed sheepishly. “Yeah... I’m truly sorry about that.”

“Not as sorry as you’re going to be when you look at your grade for my class,” Mrs. Moore said. “Not only are you failing, but you’re making the worst grade out of all of my students.”

“And what grade would that be, ma’am?”

“49,” Mrs. Moore answered, then folded her hands with frustration. “Roman, I know you are capable of passing my class if you’d only put the effort in. It’s beginning to be a real problem.”

Roman nodded, already bored from hearing the speech for the twentieth time. “What’re you gonna do about it? Give me a tutor?” Roman laughed at his own joke, but Mrs. Moore hushed him quickly.

“Actually, that’s exactly what I was planning to do, Roman,” she said. “His name is Logan Sanders and you’ll be meeting with him every Tuesday and Thursday.”

Roman was agape, and started sputtering out arguments. “But- but what about the musical?! Auditions will be in only a few weeks! And how do I know if this Logan guy is even qualified to teach me, huh?” Roman cried. 

“Then I expect you to get your grade up fast,” Mrs. Moore said. “And as for whether or not Logan is qualified to be your tutor, he is the student with the best grade out of all of my students.” 

“Oh, yeah? What grade is that?” Roman asked.

“100. And with all the extra credit he does, it really should be a 106. He very rarely makes mistakes in my class, Roman, and I’m sure he’ll be a great tutor because of it.”

Roman huffed and grumbled some words of agreement as he left the classroom, but not before Mrs. Moore could call to him, “And good luck with your audition!”

-

The library was completely empty aside from one short guy with light brown hair, chewing on an apple and flipping through a Calculus textbook while occasionally adjusting his thick glasses. He was a nerd in all aspects, and Roman knew he was Logan. He sneered, but begrudgingly walked over to the table Logan was waiting at. 

“Hello,” Roman greeted with a strained smile, but Logan didn’t even look up from his book. Roman frowned and started to pull up a chair next to his tutor when Logan snapped and pointed to the chair across for him. There was a worksheet of problems right in front of the chair, and Roman sighed angrily as he sat in it and started to work.

For a moment Roman actually began to question whether this guy was Logan or not, with him reading a higher-level math class textbook and all, but Roman shut his mouth and did his work. It had to be Logan. He was the only guy waiting around here, and he already had Geometry problems waiting around for him. 

By the time Roman had finished the worksheet, Logan had handed him a different sheet of problems, these more difficult than the last. Roman grumbled, but started on them anyways, with much less concentration than before. Now he was sneaking glances at Logan and his blue tie and dark blue polo shirt. Who did he think he was anyways? 

He probably had really rich parents or something who gave him really smart tutors when he was younger. Maybe he went to some classy private school but was dumped here somehow. Maybe he was a stuck-up gifted student that was able to go to college by the time he was in middle school, but was interested in seeing how the dumber half lived. He was so arrogant just because he was smarter than everyone else and probably was going to be the next Einstein.

Roman’s face flared with rage as he thought about the backstory he had created for this boy who hadn’t even talked to him yet, and soon he had convinced himself he already hated his new tutor and his Tuesdays and Thursdays would be ruined for forever. Eventually his writing had gotten so angry the lead from his pencil broke from pressing down so hard and he had to excuse himself to find a pencil sharpener. 

Really, he was just thankful to get out of the sight of that smart-ass tutor of his. Knowing how Logan was and Roman’s-made-up-personality-for-him-that-was-still-totally-probably-accurate, Roman wouldn’t be able to see the day of auditioning for that year’s musical. Spite boiled up inside of Roman’s stomach, and he felt tempted to just stomp his way out of the library, but Logan would probably tattletale on him and Roman would just be in more trouble than he already was.

Roman found a sharpener and fixed up his pencil, and when he walked back to him and Logan’s table, the boy was looking at him with wide eyes. Roman was afraid that maybe he had grown a giant pimple from the way Logan was staring at him, but the tutor eventually adjusted his glasses and laughed.

“What? What’s so funny?!” Roman snapped, marching over to the table and slamming his pencil down on top of it. Logan’s laughter stifled with a small gasp and he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a wide smile. 

“You are about as intelligent as an eggplant.” 

As soon as the words were said Logan went back to his fit of laughter, looking over Roman’s worksheet and all the problems that were marked wrong, but Roman remained frozen. Logan eventually noticed this and he looked up at Roman with a frown.

“Roman, are you okay?” he asked, and the boy only blinked in response. “I’m sorry if I insulted you, but I now see Mrs. Moore was not merely joking when she said you needed to acquire my help in your mathematical studies. However, I’m sure with a little work you’ll be back to passing in no time-“

Logan stopped when he felt himself being carried bridal style and his face immediately flushed when he realized it was Roman. 

“What the- Roman put me back on a leveled surface this instant!” Logan cried, trying to push away to no avail. Then he took a look at Roman’s giggling, red face and he paused all of his movements to look at the boy curiously. “Roman, what is going on? This better not be an attempt to get out of studying-“

“We’re soulmates, Logan!” Roman interrupter with a breathy laugh, sighing with relief and happiness. It was Logan’s turn to freeze now, his eyes blown wide as he looked at Roman.

“What?”

“We’re soulmates!” Roman repeated, twirling Logan around until the two were dizzy. “Oh my gosh! To think I thought you were going to absolutely hate me, but you just think I suck at math!”

“I don’t think you suck at math. I know you suck at math,” Logan retorted. “And, again, this better not be an attempt to get out of your tutoring.”

“Check your arm, darling,” Roman said, and Logan frowned. Carefully, he rolled up his blue sweater sleeve, and nearly had a panic attack when he saw the word “Hello.” was no longer scrawled there in black, cursive ink. A feeling rose in Logan’s chest, which was very rare, and he felt... he felt. That was so weird, so unusual. 

He looked back up at Roman, who was beaming down at him, and cracked a small grin at the sight. “I can hardly believe it,” he whispered. “Do you understand how difficult it is to have a soulmate who’s first words to them only consists of the common greeting ‘Hello’?”

Roman snorted and shrugged. “Sorry, my love,” he said sincerely. “But do you know how hard it is to know your soulmate thinks that you have as much intellect as an eggplant?” Logan smirked at this, and Roman let him down from his arms, but held his hands still.

“I haven’t ever walked in a five foot radius of an eggplant,” Roman added and Logan chuckled.

“We still need to get back to the tutoring session, Roman.”

“I know, I know, but first...” Roman said, taking Logan’s face softly between his two hands and kissed him gently. Logan smiled when he pulled back and tutted Roman playfully. 

“Lesson number one,” Logan said, grabbing Roman’s face as he spoke. “This is how you kiss.” And then he pressed his lips against Roman’s roughly but affectionately at the same time, and Roman kissed back as he lifted Logan. 

So his soulmate was smart, handsome, and great kisser? Perhaps Roman didn’t hate this Logan Sanders guy as much as he thought he would after all.


	2. Lesson Number Two

Mrs. Moore handed Roman his test with a smile. Written across the top was his grade, 91, scribbled with big, red numbers, and the words, “See me after class!” Roman smiled back and as soon as the bell rang, he did as said, walking over to his Geometry’s teacher’s desk with a noticeable amount of arrogance in his walk.

“Mr. Prince, you have barely been studying with your new tutor for less than two weeks and your grade has already gone up to a D!” Mrs. Moore said. “Your improvement with Logan Sanders is really quite remarkable.”

Roman chuckled. “Well... you could say we get along.”

“Wonderful. I predict by the time auditions come around next week, you’ll be passing my class,” Mrs. Moore added. “But you can keep seeing Logan if you want, of course.”

“I would love to,” Roman said with a dashing smile. Okay, so Logan was his soulmate and of course he was going to keep seeing him. But for once he’d like one of his teachers to be proud of him, so he shut his mouth on the matter.

With that, Mrs. Moore nodded and Roman was dismissed, and he immediately started texting his boyfriend happily about the good news. When the message was sent, someone nudged him and he looked up to see Virgil smirking at him. 

“How’re Mr. Smarty Aleck and you getting along?” he asked slyly. “You haven’t really talked much with me since you guys have gotten together. Even during class, man. It’s like he turned you into a math machine.”

“Oh, Virgil, he’s magnificent!” Roman said, clasping his hands and sighing dramatically. “Logan couldn’t be more perfect. He’s poetic, and adorable when he’s geeking out about Sherlock, and-“ Roman let out a small gasp. “And he likes Crofter’s! Everyone is so hung up on big name jelly brands, but this guy- this guy knows culture!”

Virgil shook his head and snickered. “Sounds dreamy,” he said sarcastically. 

“And what about you? You and Patton still in that honeymoon phase full of longing gazes and gentle hand holding?” Roman teased. 

“Eh, maybe. I don’t know, you’re the romance expert here, not me,” Virgil said. “But we did hang out at my place over the weekend. Patt thought it would be nice to bake some cookies together, but it was a total mess. I got cookie dough all over my face and he started laughing, and he said something about me looking adorable, I guess, but I was too busy freaking out that I messed up our date. When he noticed, he started kissing me all over, saying I tasted delicious, and we started kissing and laughing...”

Virgil’s voice trailed off and his eyes shone wistfully. Roman grinned at the sight of his friend practically swooning. “He’s perfect for you, Virge,” Roman said, and he ruffled Virgil’s hair playfully. “I know I’ve said it a thousand times before, but I’m happy you finally found him.”

“Yeah, yeah, Ro. Now hurry up and get your dumb ass over to History,” Virgil said, then waved by to his friend as he headed off for English. And head to History Roman did, but not before checking his phone to see Logan’s enthusiastic and commending reply to the text he had sent him at the beginning of the passing period, and Roman felt his heart soar. 

-

Two days later, Logan and Roman sat in Roman’s living room, papers full of math scattered around them and an abundance of pencils, erasers, and calculators between them. “And after following those steps you should be able to find the measure of Angle M in Triangle GJD,” Logan instructed as Roman continued solving the problem. “Now... what is the answer you have arrived to?”

Roman stuck his tongue out and then looked up at his soulmate with a smile. “49 degrees,” he stated, underlining his answer for emphasis. Logan nodded and gave his partner a thumbs-up. 

“Good. Now, for the next problem-“

Logan was interrupted by a groan, and he turned to Roman with a frown. “Lo, we’ve been at this for hours! And Mrs. Moore said once she enters in the worksheet we did today during class, I should have a C! That’s passing, Lo! So can we please, please just break for tonight?!” Roman huffed. “I mean, do you think Virgil and Patton just sit around doing math together whenever they have the chance to hang out?”

“Are you indicating that just because you are about to have an appropriate, mediocre grade in Mrs. Moore’s class you have the right to slack off?” Logan said, adjusting his glasses with a frown.

“I’m just saying we haven’t been able to actually hang out and stuff,” Roman whimpered. “Every time I see you, it’s all math, math, math! I mean, sure we’ve talked some and gotten to know each other, and it doesn’t take a Geometry expert like you to know that I already love you, Logan, but can’t you just spare me this one Wednesday night?”

Logan looked as if he was considering it, but then said, “No.”

Roman groaned, throwing his head onto Logan’s lap, who flinched at the movement but then pretended not to notice his boyfriend’s change in position. “But Looooo.”

“But nothing. If you want to lead on a good, successful life, you’re going to have set better standards than just simply passing, Roman. Don’t you want to go to a good college? Get a good career?” Logan asked, glasses flashing in the light as he cocked a brow at his soulmate.

Roman’s voice was muffled between the material of Logan’s jeans. “I wanna be a Broadway actor and live in a mansion beside a waterfall, Lo. What does Geometry have anything to do with that? As long as I get the credit I’m fine.”

“Geometry is a form of math, and math shapes our world. It is vital to understand it so that we may come to a better understanding of the world around us-“

“‘The world around us,’” Roman repeated mockingly before flipping his body so that he was staring up at Logan with a sneer. “I’m your soulmate! I’m supposed to be your world! Not a useless piece of paper with a gazillion amount of numbers on it!”

“Gazillion is not an accurate number, Roman.”

“You’re not an accurate number!” Roman growled. 

“Falsehood!” Logan nearly shrieked, pushing Roman off his lap and started to scribble onto the paper full of problem after problem about angle measurements. 

Roman scowled down at the sheet then at his boyfriend. “Okay, guess we’re doing things the hard way,” he mumbled, voice full of scary determination. 

Logan looked up at that, about to ask him what he mean by that, but Roman was quick to press his lips up against his. Logan made a surprised noise at the action, feeling Roman’s hot and desperate lips against his, but he didn’t kiss back. Roman made some sort of whining noise in the back of his throat at the lack of affection, and he wrapped his hands around Logan’s neck pulling him in closer as he slid onto his lap. 

Roman did everything he could, he tilted his head, he tangled his hands in Logan’s dark brown hair, he cupped his face as he continued to feverishly suck on his lips, but Logan did nothing in response. Eventually, Roman leaned back with a confused expression, lips tired and panting heavily. The corners of his face and cheeks were tinted pink, and he looked like a hot mess if there ever was one, but Logan was not affected.

“Logan... wha-“ Roman paused between his words to take in another gulp of air, and Logan didn’t even flinch at the husky tone of voice Roman wore. All Roman’s attempts to be seductive and flirtatious as possible weren’t working. Couldn’t he just see he wanted attention instead of those godforsaken triangles? What was Logan’s deal anyway? 

Logan pushed Roman off him again, stood up, and started gathering his things. “Excuse me, Roman. It’s getting late and I’m afraid we have reached some sort of disagreement.” Roman watched in horror as Captain Obvious stuffed all his pens and books into his backpack, then swung the bag over his shoulders, staring at his soulmate with a cold look. The only thing on his face that showed any signs of Roman’s passionate kissing were he way his lips were a slighter darker pink shade than usual. 

“But... Logan... I don’t understand!” There was confusion and anger mixed within Roman and his voice as he stood up so that he was on the same level as Logan, staring at him with wide eyes. “That... that would’ve worked on most people,” he said glumly, and instantly regretted it.

A fire sparked behind Logan’s eyes, and it frightened Roman, who started to stutter. “W-wait... that’s not what I-“

“Well,” Logan snapped, stiffening and the frown on his face deepened with betrayal and hurt. “Lesson number two, Roman, I’m not most people. I am an emotionless robot that people like you would tease on recess playgrounds and make it clear I’ll never be anything but a nerd in your pathetic, stupid eyes. And now I regret to inform you that I am also your soulmate.”

“Yes! My soulmate!” Roman cried. “Which means we can still make up! After all, the universe put us together for a reason-“

“The universe made a mistake.” 

Roman’s heart dropped.

With that, Logan walked out of Roman’s house, leaving Roman to stare after him with only one thought. 

‘What have I done?’

-

Logan was only seven when he sat on the curb beside the large building that was his elementary school. He was reading through a book that most would consider too advanced for his age about Sherlock Holmes, his latest obsession. He adjusted his glasses occasionally, but otherwise did not move as he felt the climax to the mystery nearing. In fact, he could sense that the culprit was about to be revealed when a giant red dodgeball hit his head. 

He gasped as a pain shot through his skull and he was flung back, but he caught onto an outstretched hand that helped him up. “Oops! Sorry, dude!” the owner to the voice trilled. Logan looked up to see a boy with swept back brown hair, a radiant smile plastered on his face, and sunglasses propped on the bridge of his nose, hiding his eyes. “Hope I didn’t hurt ya too bad!”

“I’m fine,” Logan said in his monotone voice of his, and for some reason the kid snickered at this. 

“What’s yer name?” he asked, and Logan responded appropriately. “Logan?” the kid repeated, testing the name on his tongue. “Sounds pretty boring, eh? I’m Remy. Ever heard of another kid named Remy? It’s a pretty cool name, huh?”

“I suppose,” Logan said between gritted teeth. His patience was running out and he only wanted to return to his book but then another boy tumbled over to them and stopped beside Remy, and Logan recognizes him as Denis, the class bully.

“Hey, I know this guy,” Denis said, pointing at Logan as if he knew everything about him and he swung an arm around Remy’s shoulders. “He’s supposed to be a real genius. Teacher’s pet and all that.” He snorted and Remy laughed at this, hunching over as his hand covered his mouth. Logan frowned up at both of them.

“Are you two finished-?”

But Denis and Remy didn’t have time to answer as they heard their names being called by another kid from across the playground. All three looked at the boy, running up to them, his light brown hair dancing with the wind as a bright grin took up the lower part of his face. And he was cute. Oh gosh, he was really cute, scampering around in a Prince Charming costume, showing off he would be the lead in that year’s school play. It was the first time Logan had ever admittedly found someone attractive aside from Holmes and he gulped when the figure finally caught up to them. 

Logan felt his heart flutter inside him—was that natural? Was he dying?—and he opened his mouth to say something to the dashing boy, when Denis said, “Hey, Roman. Sorry, we were just talking to this guy right here. I mean, get a load of this nerd!”

Roman looked between his giggling friends and Logan, their eyes catching each other’s for just a smidge of a second. Logan could practically feel the air shift and he felt his brain whir with an endless amount of questions. Was this Roman guy going to live up to his costume and stand up for him like a real prince? Would he sweep him off his feet afterwards and carry him away to a land where they could be alone without the risk of other children bothering them? Such irrational scenarios but Logan couldn’t help but imagine them. Not with the effect this Roman was having on him. Logan held his breath as Roman opened his mouth, closed it, then sneered.

He lead Remy and Denis away from Logan, joining in on whispered taunts and failed attempts of not guffawing at their own insults, but Logan couldn’t hear any of it. Not like needed to. He felt the tears well up inside him, the water splashing over his face as the three boys faded in the distance, and the surge of emotions was so foreign and unusual to him he excused himself to go inside the school and clean himself up in the bathroom. 

Then he stayed on the toilet, sobbing into the cover of his Sherlock Holmes book, gasping for air and avoiding the sight of the word on his arm that seemed to burn as it taunted him.


	3. Lesson Number Three

Patton dipped his fingers into the open ketchup packet in the middle of the table again and licked it off of himself until Virgil nudged him.

“Patt, I told you to stop double-dipping,” Virgil grumbled and Patton giggled. 

“Sorry, Vi,” Patton said in a voice that didn’t sound sorry at all. He wrapped his arms around Virgil’s neck and kissed him happily and Roman coughed.

“Hey, guys? Could you tone down the lovey-dovey stuff for now?” Roman asked, and the two leaned away from each other with surprise. Usually Roman would become excited or laugh when they did something even romantic with each other, but today was different.

Today Roman had called an emergency lunch meeting at a nearby McDonalds, and after ordering their food, he told the whole story about what happened between him and Logan to them. Virgil, not ever one to be overly empathetic, had patted his shoulder and mumbled his apologies and Patton nearly started crying as he leaned over the booth to hug Roman close to him. 

“Yeah, sure, kiddo,” Patton said and adjusted his glasses awkwardly as the table was suddenly flooded with silence. Then the boy perked up and beamed at Roman. “Hey, Ro! When’s the musical you’re doing going to be?”

“Oh. It’s just a play, Patt,” Roman explained, glad for the change in subject. “And the first showing is next week.”

“Hey, that’s great! Me and Virgil will be there!” Patton squealed and side-hugged his boyfriend who didn’t have the heart to correct him by saying it was, ‘Virgil and I.’

“Thanks, guys,” Roman mumbled, looking down at the table, his mind already wandering back to his soulmate. He didn’t know what to think of the situation, even now, a week later. Did Logan breakup with him? Were soulmates allowed to breakup? He knew it’s happened before with different pairs but he never believed it would happen to him, not since meeting Logan. Roman whimpered sadly, looking between Patton and Virgil who were still talking amongst themselves and laughing happily.

Before meeting Logan Roman had been convinced his soulmate would not love him and he’d be doomed to live out the rest of his life forever. Now it seems that might actually be the case. And it was all because of a stupid math sheet. Roman knew he was dramatic, but geez, Logan seemed more attached to his studies than he was to him. 

Roman felt guilty for thinking such horrible things about his soulmate, but he couldn’t help but feel they were true. Was he really so unlovable that even a piece of paper full of nothing but Geometry problems was better than him? Roman tried not to think about it.

Ever since their argument he and Logan had not spoken. It made it easy since they didn’t have each other for any classes, but it still made Roman sick to his stomach. He didn’t tell his parents about it and it took this long to tell his two friends about it. That’s how much it hurt him inside. He knew he should try making up with Logan, text him an essay worth of text as an apology and bring him flowers or something, but he had a feeling that wouldn’t work.

Logan wasn’t easily won over by romantic gestures (when Roman first asked him out with a grand gesture he had complained that he could’ve saved a lot of time and energy by simply asking him if he’d enjoy a romantic outing with him) so Roman was sure that anything that was included in his romantic fantasies wouldn’t work. And he was stuck. He was tempted to ask Virgil and Patton for help but he was too stubborn to. What kind of soulmate would he be if he had to ask for help on how to make up to his significant other? 

Roman opted to remain in silence then, watching Virgil practically feed Patton a french fry. He didn’t have the strength to remind them of their promise to not be too lovey-dovey. Who was he to stop their fun just because he was feeling down? He really was a horrible person wasn’t he? What kind of monstrous, soul-crushing—

“Roman?” 

Roman’s head snapped up and he grinned at his friends. “Yeah?”

“I was just saying Patton and I can try talking to Logan, if you want,” Virgil explained slowly. “Maybe try to get him to go to your play at least.”

“Thank you, Virge,” Roman said with a smile, “but I think I can handle this on my own.”

Virgil gave him an unconvinced look, but went back to talking about some new video game him and Patton had been playing together. Roman half-listened to them as he munched longingly on a fry. And in that moment Roman was scared, for perhaps for the first time in his life he was met with a battle that he couldn’t win. The battle for his soulmate, of all things. What a wonderful one to lose. 

\- 

Logan tugged on the sleeve of his shirt with a frown, then looked down and realized that his said shirt was the blue plaid flannel Roman had gotten him for their one week anniversary. Logan huffed and shrugged it off, leaving him in just a black Star Wars tee. Logan then tried to concentrate back on his homework but couldn’t seem to, growling in the back of his throat. If there was one thing he hated in life it was being distracted from focusing on whatever task he had at hand (unless he was being distracted by Crofter’s, in which case that was completely acceptable.)

He threw his pencil down at his history homework and leaned back on his desk chair. Of course he knew the reason why he was feeling distracted but he didn’t want to admit it, even to himself. That gorgeous bastard of a soulmate he had was so incompetent Logan could hardly stand it. Yet here he was trying to right an essay on the effects of the American Revolutionary War but he could hardly get down a sentence without thinking of Roman.

Logan covered his face with his hand, hating himself for even thinking of his name. He supposed it was only natural, however. He was never one for fate and emotional things and whatnot, but he couldn’t deny he and Roman were soulmates. Not when the tattooed word on his arm was gone now. And it wasn’t just that. He found himself letting his walls down when he was with Roman. It was odd but comforting at the same time. Things never changed from that one day on the playground so long ago.

Logan nearly whimpered at the memory. He liked Roman even then without even knowing him. How was that even possible? Roman was an idiot. Roman was a big, stupid, beautiful idiot that Logan hated and loved with all that was left of his heart. There was no escaping that fact. Which was why a week without him has had such an effect on him, even if he’d only talked to Roman for a little over a month. He barley slept, scared of his own mind for always wandering back to him, and he could hardly concentrate on anything anymore. 

How could he allow himself to be hurt this much after he left Roman? He was the one who broke up with him, if that’s what you even would call it. Logan didn’t understand relationships and their status, but he assumed it was a breakup since he made it pretty clear he didn’t want to talk to Roman again. He was maybe regretting that now, and he pinched the bridge of his nose in disgust with himself. 

Knowing he wasn’t going to be finishing his history anytime soon, Logan threw on his headphones and sat on his bed, letting himself relax to the sound of his audiobook. Somewhere in the midst of it, though, he realized he hadn’t even been listening for the past few minutes, instead thinking of the curve of Roman’s lips and his tousled hair. Logan threw off his headphones with alarm, eyes wide. He needed to stop, oh God... why can’t it stop...?

Just then he heard the sound of his door opening and looked up to his mom looking down at him with a warm smile. “Logan?” she asked softly. “Are you alright, honey?”

Logan mumbled something incoherent as she moved to sit down on the edge of his bed with him. “Is school stressing you out? I never thought I’d see the day,” his mom said, looking over at his unfinished homework on his desk.

“No, mother,” Logan sighed. “It is not... school.”

His mom waited for him to say more and when he didn’t she raised her brows. Her son usually wasn’t the type to not talk much. Most of her interactions with him usually had him spitting facts at her within the first five minutes. This was unusual. Then again, she couldn’t blame him. Maybe he was simply tired. It was, after all, after ten on a Monday night. And she hadn’t been able to talk to him in awhile. Being a single parent, she had to pick up a lot of jobs to be able to take care of her children, so she wasn’t able to be with them as much as she’d like to.

“I talked with Elliott already. They said you kids have a long week ahead in Chemistry,” his mom said, trying to make some decent conversation. Logan still had his eyes trained on his bedsheets and he shrugged. A few moments of awkward silence passed as his mom scanned his body, seeing he didn’t look so much as exhausted as he did upset. Then slowly her eyes went up to his arms, expecting to see the same “Hello.” word marked across his right arm, only to see it was gone.

“Logan,” she gasped. “Where... where is your soulmate tattoo?!” She was now screaming in shock, jumping off the bed. “Did- did you know it disappeared? Did you see your soulmate without knowing? Lo-“

“No, mom.” Logan’s voice was deadly grave as he interrupted her rambling. She overthought things just like him, it was one thing they had in common. “I know who he is.”

“He? Oh, that’s wonderful, Logan! What’s his name? What’s he like? Are you dating yet? Why didn’t you tell me?” Logan grimaced at his mom’s words.

“We’re done, mom,” Logan cut her off with a frown. “It didn’t work out.”

“Didn’t-? But Logan you’re soulmates!”

“So were you and dad, but look how that worked out!” Logan cried. His mom froze, looking at her son with some form of absolute shock. Logan rarely yelled, and if he did it was directed towards Elliott. She lowered her head and sighed, low and quiet. “I’m sorry, mother,” Logan said after a few seconds. “I just- I think the universe made a mistake and-“

“We did love each other, you know,” she interrupted. “He just loved his job more. He had to go. He had to, Lo. Even if he left his wife and two kids behind.” Trails of tears flowed down her cheeks. Logan knew the story well, she didn’t need to repeat it. His dad had to travel to Europe to introduce his new computer designs to their marketers when he died in a car crash. That was enough alone, but before the trip his mom and him had gotten in a heated argument and Logan was almost sure if he didn’t die he would’ve rather stayed there in that foreign continent than come back home. It was hard but it was the truth.

“I know,” Logan mumbled. “I’m.. I’m afraid my soulmate and I might be going through a similar situation as far as the disagreements are concerned. I’ve actually been working on a theory on how maybe fate is getting weaker these days in deciding these ‘soulmates’ as we all them-“

“Logan,” his mom reached, grabbing his hands. “Look at me.” He did and she began wiping tears from his face. Since when was he crying? “I love you, and your decisions are your own, but...” She bit her lip in thought, looking into her son’s watery eyes. “You love him... don’t you?”

Logan slowly nodded. “I do.” 

“Than why can’t you stop being so stubborn for once and... let him love you?” 

Logan didn’t respond, and knowing she wouldn’t get another word out of him that night, his mom kissed his head and left. Logan pondered over her words for a minute before pulling out his phone. There was a text waiting for him from Virgil. 

Virgil Storm:  
Hey, Lo. Roman has his play coming up and Patton and I wanted to know if you’re coming.

Logan breathed heavily through his nose. His thumbs danced across the screen without his consent typing out the words, “When is the play?” He wanted to go, he did. He’d never seen Roman act, and frankly, he never understood theatre, but he knew he’d love it. He loved Roman. Logan looked down at the message, his fingers hovering over the send button.

Then he deleted his message before he could and deleted Virgil’s too.

-

“You’re going to do great out there!” Emile cheered as he fixed up Roman’s costume and makeup. Roman smirked sadly at his friend and nodded. It was show night. Which meant it had been two weeks since he and Logan has last talked, and Roman was dying. He had hoped preparing for the play would help distract him. Every night he ran over his lines again and again, every rehearsal he gave his all at, but it was no use. Minutes before he was supposed to go on stage and he still couldn’t get Logan out of his mind. 

Eventually Emile went to go check the lights and Roman was left alone with his thoughts, fifteen minutes until show time. He picked at the hem of his sleeve then brought it up to his elbow, tracing his finger over her arm where his tattoo once was marked across his skin. He sighed, the words slipping through his mind out of habit.

“I’m about as intelligent as an eggplant,” Roman choked with a smile, trying desperately to hold back his tears so he wouldn’t ruin his makeup. “Oh, Logan I miss you.” 

His sentence echoed throughout the empty dressing room, and after a few grieving minutes, Roman looked over at his phone. He slowly reached for it and looked down at the cold screen. Texts from Patton, Virgil, and other friends were coming through, all telling him they made it and they were in the audience, excited to see him perform. Everyone he loved would be there, except, that is, for his soulmate. Roman gulped, feeling another wave of guilt wash over him and decided he had enough.

In an act of pure impulse, he called Logan. He felt the telltale buzzing over the phone until he was met with Logan’s voicemail, and at the sound of his soulmate’s voice, even if it was simply over a machine and prerecorded, was enough to make Roman grin stupidly.

“You are currently trying to reach Logan T. Sanders. I apologize I cannot talk at this very moment. Please leave a message if you have an urgent issue. And if this is Crofter’s Organic, yes, I did mean to order that many jars, thank you. Have a good day.” There was a long beep and Roman took a deep breath. 

“Logan? It’s, uh, me, Roman. Wait- you already knew that. Um, never mind,” Roman stuttered. “Anyways, I have ten minutes until my play starts and I know you’re not going to come but...” Roman sighed heavily, feeling tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. “I’m so, so sorry. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind the past couple weeks. I... I don’t know what to do, Logan. I love you, goddamn, you know I do and I’m so sorry. And I’m not sorry just because of what I said... what I did. I- I remember a long time ago-“ 

Roman pauses to smile up at the ceiling. “You were sitting down, reading a book about Sherlock Holmes, and my friends went up to you and started teasing you. I... I should’ve done something to help you, try and tell them to stop, but I didn’t. I don’t know if I was just feeling like being a jerk or if I was just trying to, you know, fit in, but I should’ve... I should’ve stood up for you. And I’m not saying that as your soulmate, I’m saying that as a decent human being who’s done some not-so decent things that I regret. But, I think you’d like to know I watched you read everyday after that and as much as I’d let myself allow. I didn’t even know your name and years later I find you again as my tutor, of all things. There’s always been something special about you, Logan. I didn’t realize it then, but I’ve always loved you. I’m just too big of an idiot to see how I need to show that. An idiot as intelligent as an eggplant.”

Roman scratched the back of his neck and looked up at the ticking clock on the wall in front of him. “I’m not asking you to take me back or even forgive me. I just wanted you to know that stuff. Get it off my chest, I guess. I’m going to miss you, Lo. I really am. I... I hope you’ll miss me too but that’s probably just wishful thinking. Just... take care of yourself for me, okay? I... I love you.” His voice sounded broken this time as he said it. “And I understand why you wanted to leave me. Goodbye, Logan.”

With that, he ended the message and got up from his chair. He stretched out his cramped muscles and breathed heavily so he wouldn’t actually start crying. Five minutes until show time. He had to get onstage now. With one glance at his phone, he picked up his prop sword and left the room without another word.

The stage was dark by the time he arrived and people were taking their places and giving him encouraging thumbs-up. He smiled weakly and got into place, trying to scan through the audience but it was hopeless with this dim of lights. And by the time the stage would be lit up again he would be acting and wouldn’t be able to look out into the audience. Roman breathed heavily though his nose. Now was not the time to think about that. 

The show proceeded on and Roman was proud to say there was very little mistakes made considering how clouded with grief his mind was. He lost himself in the character he was playing, a feeling of escape he hadn’t felt in awhile swelling within him, but a weight in his chest remained. When the show ended it didn’t feel like the end, but the audience was roaring with applause and it was time for the final bows. Everyone was behind the curtains, including him, and slowly his cast mates poured onto the stage until it was just him left.

As if his feet were made out of bricks, Roman sluggishly made his way out into the stage, offering a half-hearted smile to the clapping audience. When he finally made it to the edge of the stage to bow, he looked out at the people watching, searching desperately but to no avail. Of course he didn’t show. Roman was pathetic to think otherwise. With a frown, Roman went back with his fellow actors and bowed with all of them, blowing kisses and waving as the curtains closed. And Roman finally allowed himself to cry.

His tears were able to be disguised as happy ones, however, as people pat his back and congratulated him on the good job he did. Eventually, the curtains opened again and they were able to go to the audience to celebrate with their waiting friends and family. Roman spotted Virgil and Patton cheering for him as they held hands. Roman couldn’t help but grin at that. At least someone’s romance worked out. 

He went up to them and accepted Patton’s happy praise and Virgil’s thumbs-up. Roman thanked them but his heart still felt empty. He wasn’t satisfied. He tried to gulp it down. He began to get deep in a conversation with Patton about how his aunt was coming over to stay for a few days after learning Patton had found his soulmate. Virgil was very anxious, of course, but he was slowly getting more and more used to the idea. Besides, if she was related to Patton, how horrible and judgmental could she possibly be? 

Virgil was just in the middle of making a self-deprecating joke on the topic when a loud sound came from behind them. Everyone left in the room turned towards the doors to see them slammed open and a figure standing there, hair disheveled and breathing labored. It’s when the person’s head looked up to examine the room did Roman realize who it was.

“Logan?” he breathed in disbelief.

Logan looked at him and ran a hand through his dark hair sheepishly. “Greetings, Roman. I-“

“Logan!” Roman cried, running over to his soulmate and embracing him tightly. “Oh, Logan, Logan, I’m so, so sorry. But you came! You actually came-!”

Logan pushed off of him. “What makes you believe I’m ready to make up with you yet?”

Roman swallowed thickly, disappointment taking over his face. “Oh. I just assumed-“

“No. There is something I must do first,” Logan said, reaching behind him to pull out a large bouquet of red roses. Roman gasped just looking at them and Logan continued, “Roman, I apologize for my hurting your feelings and breaking up with you. You are my soulmate, sure, but you mean so much more than just what fate told us to be. I... I realize I’m not the most affectionate partner and that you deserve better but I cannot just push away my feelings for you. I love you, Roman and I-“

He didn’t get another word in before Roman pressed him into a kiss, earning an applause from Patton and Virgil. “Logan,” Roman said against his lips after parting with them. “For once, do me a favor, and shut up.” They both grinned slightly at that.

“Gladly. But one more thing-“ Roman gave him a look. “I’m serious, Roman. This is important.” Roman let go of Logan and nodded, ready to take whatever scolding he was about to give him. To his surprise, though, Logan just pecked his cheek and mumbled against him, “Lesson number three, I will never leave you ever again.”

Roman kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, lovely
> 
> tumblr: @rosesandstuff


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